Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Things I have always wondered


1. Do all old inner city Baptist Churches get their sancuary carpeting from the same supplier?
Because every one I've been in has that same Dawn of The Dead esque blood red velvet carpet. Maybe they all get their carpet from the stock that the Southern Baptist Covention bought forty years ago, and STILL can't get rid of. I mean seriously. I'm starting see some NEW Baptist churches with this stuff in their sancurary. Maybe it's the lemming affect? They have it, so we'll have it.
Baptist Churches are like McDonald's. You always know what's inside.


2. Why some guys call their girlfriends "Boo".
Is their girlfriend just that ugly and scary, that they need to say boo? Perhaps it's a subtle way of telling your girlfriend that they are actually a ghost (that could get awkward). Maybe the guy is Count Dracula in disguise, and that is his pet name for his vampire mistress. Who knows?
"I need you boo". Come on Chris Brown! You can come with a better pet name than that!

3. Why TV advertising presents sweaty guys as sexy.
They just aren't. Sweaty guys stink. They are not sexy. They never will be sexy. They have never been sexy. I prefer my man clean, non shiny, and smelling, well, clean.
Besides, being that shiny isn't natural. It's just weird.The only way you could get that shiny and not stink would be to rub oil all over your body, and that's just a bit creepy. Leave that one to the gay male strippers.

4. Why they are remaking a crummy movie from five years ago, that was a remake of a TV show from the 70's that was an attempt to bring a comic to life.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800080/
Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood. *shakeshead* You tried the Hulk once five years ago. It didn't work. Deal! I know this is just a desperate quest to make money Hollywood, as you are fast running out of superheros to butcher *ahem*-I mean make movies about (Not that The Hulk was that great anyway, but I mean, come on. Making a movie about Iron Man? Now that's desperate!). But really? Redoing a movie that sucked in the first place five years ago, and is sure to suck again? Come on. No one's memory is that short, not even America's.


5. Why Paris Hilton is famous
Not even God can rationalize this one. Heaven forbid that I try.

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